Ever been online working, playing a game, or browsing through social media sites and the warning pops up on your screen, “A Connection has Been Lost”? Yes, we’ve all been there.
In those moments, we are typically rudely awakened from our screen-induced addiction session and are soon intensely focused on finding and correcting whatever it is disrupting our drug, I mean communication flow.
Wouldn’t it be great if real relationships were this easy? I mean imagine if every time we got too focused and side tracked with other less-important things an alarm went off right in front of us and told us that there was a problem?
Like when we are working late on a project that doesn’t really have to be done right then or when we are vegging out playing on our smart phone to relax instead of being engaged in the real world around us. Wouldn’t it be awesome to see a reminder message like this?
Then, when we click on the additional information section it gives us clear details of what we are too blind to see at that moment. Something like:
“Warning! You are working too late (or, playing that stupid game again) and neglecting your children and family. Bobby wants to play checkers with you and Susie wants to play dolls. Soon they will both be teenagers and if you don’t watch it, Bobby will resent and avoid you in life and Susie will find acceptance in the arms of another man- probably an abusive dirt-bag. Your relationship with you spouse is greatly suffering as well and you two are growing apart; you need a date night! If you don’t shut off this screen right now you are increasing your odds by 37.829% of dying alone and miserable.”
Wouldn’t that be a refreshing slap in the face?
Or, what if when we were feeling down and alone and our screens sent us a warning message that looked like this:
Then, when we clicked on it for more details, it showed us all of the available human connections around us just waiting to engage and connect with you. Wouldn’t that be fantastic?!
Well truth be told, as Christians, we all have this mechanism built inside each of us. It is called the Holy Spirit and it is far more powerful than any screen reminder ever could be. Problem is, many of us have ignored it and turned the volume down on it for so long that we forget it’s even there. Whether conscious or not, we choose not to listen to that still small and loving voice each day. Why? Well, the reasons why are long and varied for each person, but here’s the good news we all need to hear, It doesn’t have to be this way!
Through Christ, we can fix and restore the majority of relationships in our lives if we are just willing to take the time and effort to honestly work on them; starting with ourselves.
So if you are like me and the majority of people on the earth today, here are a few tips on How to Re-Establish Real Connections in a Virtual World:
- Be Encouraged- All Relationships Take Effort. Understand that nothing worth doing in life is ever easy. And a good relationship is the prime example of that. NO ONE on this earth has a perfect relationship and NO ONE has a good relationship without much effort. So if you are struggling in your relationships right now, understand you are not alone. You’re human like the rest of us and no matter what you are facing there is hope.
- Ask God for Help. God doesn’t suggest or select who He helps. God promises that if any of His children come to Him for help and wisdom, He will be there for them and give it. He loves us all, You too, and He will not leave you hanging. Just one of the many verses in the bible that talk about this love is in James chapter 1 verse 5 where it says, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it (wisdom) shall be given him.”
- Set a Schedule. We all have responsibilities in life: things we have to do, things we need to do, things we should do, and things we want to do. You need to make sure that you have a schedule that balances all of these. And remember, BE REALISTIC. Every human only has 24 hours in a day, so use yours wisely. Set a schedule that first takes into account what you have to do, then the rest. This is a topic that 98% of my clients need help with, so unless you are part of the elite 2%, get help and do this. When you are at work, be at work. When you are on the baseball field with your kids, be there- mentally and physically. When you are playing games with the family at home, be there emotionally. And when you are conversing with your spouse, listen! Don’t jump to conclusions, try to solve all of their problems, or be judgmental. BE THERE when they open up to you and really listen to what they have to say, don’t just hear a voice.
- Stay Disconnected. Yes, that’s right. Despite what the media, government, and cell phone companies tell you, we need balanced lives. Staying disconnected means that outside of the email times, work times, and any other specific times pre-designated in your schedule, you should not be online, checking your smart-phone, or watching TV. AVOID SCREENS LIKE THE PLAGUE. By staying dis-connected with technology, you will now have the opportunity to connect with the reality around you and those you love. Don’t waste this precious time you have together. You never know when it will be gone.
- Never Quit! In life, the greatest love when out of sync can also lead to the greatest hurt and pain. So make sure that you realize that and are committed to working through the pain, getting to the real roots of any interpersonal problems you may have, and stay the course. Rome wasn’t built in a day and relationships and trust are established, and re-established over time. Hang tight and love on- YOU CAN DO IT!
Ok, that’s enough for today. Sorry I went a little, ok a lot long. This is such an important topic and we have only begun to scratch the surface.
If you need more help, life coaching, or even just prayer in these areas, please give us a call. Our hearts desire at Ascend is to see you grow- both personally and professionally. So if you feel stuck, confused, or completely alone, call us. We’d love to be part of helping you heal and grow!
Scripture to Consider:
- 1 John 2:20
- Proverbs 20:23
- James 4:14
- John 3:16
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